Monthly Archives: November 2012


My emotions have been fluctuating between total euphoria and abject fear lately. I am embracing change. This is to be expected; change is defined by its instability, its intriguing yet menacing nature, its inherent ability to simultaneously beckon and intimidate while working its black magic.

I have erected an imposing change-crane in the midst of a massive construction project called My Family. Prior to the crane, which is now working 24/7 to build a new infrastructure, I found fossils buried in the foundation. I might not have noticed them had I not become curious and begun exploring the landscape after a long period of ennui. Furiously digging as it became clear to me that all was not as it had seemed at the outset, I unearthed the long-buried treasures of passion, desire, metamorphosis, laughter and pure joy.

I quickly realized that the smooth, carefully calculated, surely laid base I had called Home, was in danger of eroding, imploding, caving in, or all three at once; if not immediately, then surely later. Living with the risk, though I had unwittingly been dealing with it for many years, was suddenly untenable. It was time for further excavation, and due to the urgency pressing against my sternum and the resonance of truth in my belly, it had to be swift and sure. Its immediacy became my new reality, even as I struggled to internalize the mass destruction I was endorsing with my selfish, singleminded reconstruction project. As Foreman, all the important decisions were mine. Even acknowledging my conscience as Construction Supervisor did not dissuade me.

Still the near-impossibility of successfully managing such a delicate undertaking was not lost on me, after all what archaeologist impatiently claws out treasures that have lain in the earth for aeons, treasures that in some cases have survived ferocious conditions, ancient battles? Nevertheless the required patience was obliterated by an incessantly urgent and loud beating; the pounding knowledge that it was “now or never.” In doing so, I had to acknowledge that speed over caution would necessitate some fallout, some less than ideal conditions in which to work. Nevertheless, like harmonious hammers flying, their steel heads landing perfectly on nail after nail in rapid succession, joining board to board to create something new, a tangible rhythm spurred me on and told me there was something fresh and beautiful in the making.

The permits have been secured, the foundation laid and the treasures protected. The bulldozers have been returned and the wrecking ball is now attached to the crane. The final vestiges of what once was will be mutilated with a few crushing blows and then the rebuilding will commence.

It would be easier to dismantle the ball and crane, to send the remaining crew home with their pay. It would be easier to simply display the unearthed treasures on a special shelf as a symbol of a past life or of dreams that were not meant to be. I am a practical soul though, and a firm believer that treasures are best when they serve a useful purpose. I also like to finish what I begin, though some would argue against my reasons and my methods for doing so.

Let the wrecking ball swing. Let this new life begin. I have decided to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Tomorrow is a New Moon.

Rest in sweet peace Susan Jeffers (author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, and other publications).

The candidate

Despite her nearly unbearable anguish Eva trudged ahead, hardly able to lift a boot out of one snowy imprint before making the next, practically falling forward with every step as the wind pelted her petite bundled body, freezing her brittle bones. It wouldn’t be long now since her actions had caused a horrendous chain of events; consequences she could neither have foreseen nor stopped, especially since Arden had blocked her ability to control the weather when she had lingered a nanosecond too long at her grandmother’s bedside selfishly trying to save her instead of continuing on as she should have done.

Prior to the endless and bitter winter controlling Eva’s quadrant and destroying her body, she had enjoyed boundless freedom, daily breathing in the intoxicating euphoria of flight when her wings had been wet and warm, not frozen and broken as they now were. Arden’s severe jealousy of Eva’s gifts, in particular her uncanny ability to help others discover their own, had placed her on the wanted list where she had remained for aeons, saved only by miraculous wings that had hurtled her effortlessly through space faster than the speed of time, allowing her precious seconds to protect the future from Arden’s efforts to destroy Earth and allow Hellbor to flourish.

Being in constant motion had not only protected her from destruction, but had also kept her from thinking too much, as her thoughts could not withstand the sheer force of the time-warp, which had, prior to the deadening winter, kept her from feeling guilty that she had once supported Arden with her vote, her body and her heart.


Lillie McFerrin


This week’s word is “candidate” -from the great Lillie McFerrin and her weekly Five Sentence Fiction prompt. Click on the icon to visit and try your hand at your own five!