“Stand up straight!” “Straighten up!” “Stay in line!” “You’re out of line!” “Toe the line!” “Make a straight line.” “Line up single file.” “Don’t cross the line!” Criminy, these poor little dominoes, trying their best to act right…to be right, all based on what we tell them: What we think they should think. What we think they should do. What we think is important. What we think about God, gods, religions, churches, other people, the food they eat, the clothes they wear. How we think they should keep their rooms, how lucky we think they are, how grateful we think they should be, how much and what kinds of foods we think they should eat. As if that’s not enough we tell them how to bathe, how and when and where they can and can touch various parts of their bodies (noses, lips, their nether regions). And because there is always more: how to sneeze into the crooks of their little elbows, how to wipe, and how not to get hurt. These viewpoints we impart are natural, unavoidable, even. And even when we get it wrong, it is with pretty good intentions: we want our kids to go out into the world prepared, not pampered. We are meant to be their guidance counselors, not their buddies (that can come later). But what about when we impart opinions to them as fact…like teaching a child that homosexuality is sinful, unacceptable, shameful? And what about when these viewpoints lead to a death, a suicide? That’s when toeing the line and being “straight” is not in the best interest of a child. That’s when the near-perfectly aligned dominoes need to fall, each one hitting the next and the next and the next until the hatred and judgement is eradicated. I pray my little dominoes will live to see and be a part of this long overdue revolution!
We want them to be independent thinkers and at the same time do what we ask them to do. No questions ask. Or if we look at it from a different view point. We give them the comfort zone, from which they need to learn to step out. It is like hatching.
Love this post. I work hard to teach my kids to be independent thinkers. And then I still find myself doing this, telling them what to think. It’s a tough one to stop; it’s such a part of parenting.
Thanks for your comment on my Smartly post.
Great column, Brit. It’s a mind stretcher for most adults that they casually make the jump from facts to meaning – and don’t realize that their “meaning” is just an opinion based on their world view. Some people are gay. That’s a fact. What it means and what people should do with that fact is a leap that is unique to everyone. Kids aren’t developed enough to understand the leap isn’t factual. Your comments are right on. It is fairly easy to trace back people’s opinions on a subject such as homosexuality to things they learned when they were young from people they respected.
Amen to this, and thanks for putting it so well.
I’m so sorry if for any reason I offend anyone reading my personal comment here. This may have a religious tone to it, but I feel there is no other way. My intentions are not to offend anyone, just to state my opinion and possibly shed a different perspective, what I feel is right. It seems in this day and age it has become very popular to say things like “it’s an alternative lifestyle choice”. I know that there are efforts to Destroy the Family unit going on right now. I know Satan is real and he is breaking down the family unit line upon line, precept upon precept. You can witness it yourself just by watching television and taking notes over the years…….seeing our morals breaking down right before our eyes. What was not acceptable 20 years ago is commonplace and acceptable today.
The family, the most fundamental institution of society, is under attack from all sides. Adultery, divorce, cohabitation, child and spouse abuse, homosexuality, abortion, teen pregnancies, pornography, disobedient children, economic struggles, an increasing unwillingness among married couples to bear and rear children—all these and more are proof that the adversary understands very well the central role the family plays in the destiny of God’s children. I don’t feel like teaching a child that homosexuality is sinful, unacceptable or shameful is the right thing to do. Friendship and compassion can strengthen those dealing with same-sex attraction. Love them and teach them as our Savior would love them and teach them.
Because of the importance of the family to the eternal plan of happiness, Satan makes a major effort to destroy the sanctity of the family, demean the importance of the role of men and women, encourage moral uncleanliness and violations of the sacred law of chastity, and to discourage parents from placing the bearing and rearing of children as one of their highest priorities.
Even in such circumstances, we need not fear. God is with us. In the end good will conquer evil. In the here and now, however, we must take our place on the front line and do all we can to preserve and protect the sanctity of the family.
Marriage Is Ordained of God, that is a man and a woman…….we can understand this by reading the Holy Bible about Adam and Eve. Is there anyone else out there that can see the importance of the family unit? How it is the basic fundamental core of our earthly happiness.? Or is everyone jumping on the bandwagon of being politically correct and staying with the liberal viewpoints that society is leaning towards? At the risk of being ridiculed and persecuted, I stand for the core values of the family unit being a husband and wife and bearing children the way God has ordained. Look at the way the human body was created and reproduces. For us to keep our species procreating and populating the world a man and a woman is what works.
Once again, I am sorry if I have offended anyone, but I feel as if someone must stand up even if it may be the unpopular thing to do and voice the truth that appears to be overlooked.
Britt, I love how you are always stretching, searching, seeking in the name(s) of balance and fairness . . . I often wonder how many ‘dominoes’ I have ‘flicked’ over in life. I think the unintential ‘flick’ is most hurtful because we so offen do not know from whom it came, from which direction and the intension. Some times it is hard to recover from some life’s ‘flicks’. I hope I can be forgiven for my careless ‘flicks’ to others. Let there be no more ‘flicking’!