It shows the three of them, all lugging massive, still-gurgling, dirty, dead bodies behind them, trudging up the hill; straight up, in fact–a legendary photo that finds many folks shaking their heads in disbelief; shunning the impossible fable.

But history, as well as cold-hard-facts; crime data to be exact, tell us that between July, 3062 and March, 3075, Ruth, Delilah, and Annabelle Sparrow, seemingly innocent and sweet grandmothers, traveled the United States on a crime-binge of unbelievable proportions, ridding town after town of unmentionable tattoo-less men of prominence and greed. No one, neither police, nor widowed wives, not ex-girlfriends or grieving mothers tried to stop them, despite the heinous and open nature of their deeds.

If legend holds true, and I believe that it does, hoards of people in city after city after state after state, cheered them on, cooked them meals, and showered them with jewels for eliminating the riff-raff; the men responsible for perpetuating the lies of freedom that had not only cost everyone their dignity, but had also kept the United States from inclusion in the nearly world-wide peace treaty negotiated between now-powerful nations who had long ago embraced transparent and honest-dealings; foregoing super powers for humanism.

It would be two hundred years before a gigantic time-capsule found at the bottom of Lake Geneva, which used to be filled with luscious green water, would reveal more pictures of three toothy grinning grandma-rebels, plus the incredible booty these unlikely pirates had collected in those few years just prior to the occupation of the former United States.

Lillie McFerrin Writes

18 thoughts on “Booty

  1. Okay, this one had me laughing all the way through, even in what I suspect might have been more serious bits. Don’t ever lose your sense of imagination because trust me, it is freaking awesome!! :)

    1. Oh thank you–The grannies and I DID have fun with this one, so I am very glad it tickled you. I appreciate you visiting again-I’ll check out your offering soon!

    1. Hi Lisa! It all started with a thought about unlikely pirates, and got silly-crazy from there. I’m looking forward to reading yours now…

    1. Thanks for visiting, Victoria. My first “Five Sentence Fiction” was very short. Then I started a course about sentences; about how to make longer sentences appropriately (I’m not there yet!), and decided to practice each week. Last week’s was even longer!

  2. Great stuff. It definitely brings forth unusual and wild imagery of futuristic, butt-kicking grannies in a distopian America (which unfortunately over 1,000 years later is still ran by greedy men). Maybe they’ll stumble upon a time machine and travel to the 21st century where we still need them.

    1. Austin–thank you for the visit! I love the camaraderie of “Five Sentence Fiction!” I also like your thoughts about these adventurous grannies. I see a time machine in their future. Yes…we need them NOW!

  3. Hey Britt! Congratulations on stretching five sentences until they screamed for mercy. Have you ever done any work with badgers? They keep their own counsel, so it might just balance out. Indigo x

    1. My daughter has a very special badger: Morrison Badger, and he keeps to himself so much that at times I forget he is here-very unassuming guy. I think he may just be the guy for the job!

      Last week’s “five” was even longer!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *