I like the way it feels on the dark side of this wooden fence. I like the way no one knows I’m here. I like the way the sunlight bleeds through the cracks and shimmies underneath, as if trying to find some one, some thing. I like the way it has to stop, just shy of finding me here, hiding, exploring, watching, waiting for nothing but the right moment to emerge. It might take a while today. I need this.

The light-twinged darkness comforts me like a large bowl of mac and cheese would. And mac and cheese makes me sleepy like a large glass of red wine would. And so, I nap without snoring; asleep with my eyes open. I breathe deeply, evenly, like I would in yoga. And I sit here with the in and out in and out air flowing through my nostrils, taking me deep inside the chakra-colored world I am suddenly privy to.

I feel my heart open and see a strong shaft of sharp green light split it in two, simultaneously multiplying the pieces until there are many halves floating in green water, like thousands of lilies waiting for their frogs to sit on top and give them meaning, purpose. I wait…breathing, breathing, and hear and see nothing until one by one each heart-half finds a mate but not a match. The result is beautiful, and no longer only green. Rainbows of color grace each nearly solid heart, and where the chosen mate was not a perfect match, the light bleeds through the cracks and shimmies underneath looking for some one, some thing.

The moment has come, and I emerge from my safe place, prepared to face my stunningly beautiful life and the way it teaches me to use the darkness to fill in the holes with light…

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